Peaks and Valleys or: Speaking of "Staying Honest"

***Get comfortable, this is a long one.***



Phrases in my google search bar over the past week:

"athletic pubalgia"

"iliopsoas tendonitis"

"overtraining syndrome"


On Monday my hips were so sore that it slowed me down at work. I now attribute this to wearing heavier shoes for the later-week jogs I did, taxing those hip flexors a little more than they're used to. This was just regular old muscular soreness, but in a time when every little ache has me worried about injury, I was a little anxious.

I decided to rest until I felt better. I felt OK on Tuesday, but gave it another day. Wednesday I felt good and I got up with the sun, out for 45 minutes jogging. Felt decent, but kind of frustrated. To be honest, the whole heart rate monitor idea (keeping my HR below 150) is causing me more strife than it's worth. It results in very slow and somewhat uncomfortable jogging.

It was more of the same on Thursday, 45 minutes or so, and some periodic wind sprints were relieving, but they made me aware of a tightness in the right side of my groin that's been lingering for the past few months. I resolved as I was stepping through my front door to put the sneakers in the closet for a while. Which is an idea I've toyed with since.

So, as is evident in my extreme paranoia of injuring myself, my fear of anything besides light jogging (hence the HR restriction which I'm deciding is more or less a subconscious manifestation of this fear), and my continuing difficulty with these periodic attempts to rekindle my daily habit, I'm obviously feeling pretty off kilter right now. I can't tell if I'm depressed and frustrated because I'm having trouble with this, or if it's the other way around.

Of course, this is related to things bigger than running in my life right now as well. And I realize that I can't run (or jog) from my problems. At least not in an unprescribed manner.

By the way, I should mention that I feel pretty darn good right now. Just so you're not worried I'm typing this from some dark room hugging a bottle of hooch or something. I merely find it important to convey what's going on in my head. And I'm accepting that the issue with my hips is related to an imbalance of some sort. The whole stress fracture issue (left foot) at the beginning of the summer had kind of a cascade effect where I was compensating a lot with my strong leg (the right one), especially when biking. On numerous occasions I caught myself pedaling solely with my right leg out of fear (and some discomfort honestly) that I'd reaggravate the stress fracture. This clearly led to an overuse injury of some sort which is getting better, but still lingers. So I've given myself a new challenge, and that's to stay still until I can't stand it anymore. Then I'll start some core strengthening exercises for a little while before trying running and cycling. And I'm gonna run, not jog. Well, maybe some jogging. The difference between this and similar "resolutions" earlier this year is that I have confidence that things will heal. It's just a matter of time.

On a different note, I've been thinking a lot about long term plans. I've mentioned before that I wanted to build up to a marathon next June. Grandma's Marathon specifically. If you know me than you know this is the first and only marathon I've run, and it holds sentimental value to me in that regard. It'd be wild to cross that tape again after so long away from it. Plus my grandfolks live in Superior, and it'd be nice to see them.

I've never mentioned this before (on this blog), but something I've always wanted to do is an extended bike tour. Some of you may have heard me mention a trip I'd envisioned after graduation, a self-supported circumnavigation of the great lakes. Well, my brother Nate has recently discovered a passion for cycling, and he's been asking me to ride coast-to-coast with him. I muddled over this for a while and decided that if there's a time for me to do this, it's next summer, with family. Grandma's is in June, and we'd have to leave around that time at the latest, so I'm now having second thoughts on the marathon. It's something I can come back to, and I don't know if I'd ever have another chance to take a two month tour. Priorities. Nate's already started "training" for it so I better get on board soon.

So as it stands now, I'll be retiring this blog for awhile. As I don't feel like I've been training (running or otherwise) for a good time now, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't take a little break from things. The fact that it seems mentally insurmountable to rest is probably a good indication that that's exactly what I need to do. When I get back to things, which might be a New Year's thing, I'll hopefully be doing a balance of running and cycling, so even then the format of this blog will change.

Thanks for listening, and good luck to all y'all in whatever you're doing.