Fear of Distance

I have this fear of long runs. Maybe I'm not alone. But for whatever reason I've never been able to head out on a run greater than half-marathon distance with full confidence. (For the record, I guess I consider anything much beyond 13.1 miles to be "long," considering that past that threshold glycogen depletion tends to come into play).

Like today, for example, I tucked my metro pass into my garb "just in case something goes awry." But the thing is that in general, things go off without a hitch and all the fears turn out to be spooks, those little demons that haunt us from their shoulder perches. I don't know what exactly it is I'm afraid of, maybe injury, maybe the "pain" of longer runs, or maybe just being humbled. But then again, perhaps bringing a backup option is not really a bad idea. Or, I ask myself, does the fact that I have doubts indicate I'm not being completely honest with myself? Whatever the answer, I'm sure to justify my actions somehow, regardless of whether or not something bad actually does happen. And I guess there's no sense in trying to pick apart a fear which is really probably quite normal.

So now that I've got that out of my system, (and thank you, I feel quite better), I'll report the run of the day. Planned 14 miles, a true tour of some of the best multi-use paths around, starting and ending at my doorstep. Weather was nice, sun was out, and the running went pretty well to the extent that I tacked on an extra mile at the end to bring me closer to the 2-hour mark. Part of the hesitation going into it was the right calf issue that came on my radar a little over a week ago. Not sure what's causing it, and it's hard to pinpoint a movement that irritates it beyond general running. I describe it as a cramp, but who knows. The two times it felt like it was getting irritated today I stopped, stretched, and moved on. That happened at the 20 and 40 min mark, but it felt better for the latter half. Something to keep my eye on, and I'll continue to stretch and massage the area until I'm sure it's cleared up.

I feel good about the run today, like things continue to come together with my training. The long miles today give me free pass for a rest day tomorrow, which I'll cash in at the gym with some light cross training. 15 and a quarter miles, 1:58:30.