I've Been Fighting

There's a certain momentum I carry when things are going well. Obstacles seem surmountable. Hesitations are few and far between.

Given my limited experience with running, I've witnessed this kind of momentum more so in other areas of my life. But I have seen it cross over into running as well.

As momentum can be described as the product of an object's mass and velocity, the only way I can describe the way things have fizzled out lately is that training-wise, there's no substance to me. Like I whittled my self down to a puff of dust. One small gust of wind, I'm gone.

Until pretty recently I feel like I've been consumed by frustration, anger. I've been fighting. Fighting this injury, fighting my doubts, fighting that fatigue that wants to keep me from getting out of bed at odd hours of the morning.

Well, I'm not throwing in the towel. But I am engaging in guerrilla tactics.

It occurs to me that the only way I can let things fall back into place is by letting them go.

Letting go of the expectations, the plans, the anticipation. Taking things at the pace that my mind and body seem to be dictating right now. This doesn't mean I've resolved not to run. Just that I've accepted things for what they are right now.

So, I've got no immediate goals. My only long term goal is that I'd like to try and run a marathon next June. That's a long time away. There's plenty of time to assess and plan and consider my options. Just not now.

On a less existential note, I got x-rayed at the podiatrist's office today. His official opinion is that the stress fracture is healed. The discomfort I've been experiencing is likely soft tissue related. He gave me a metatarsal pad and I'll be going back to see him in 3 weeks. Funny thing is that I felt relief as soon as I put the pad in. Go figure.

Stay healthy out there y'all.